Gabriel Sucks~!!

Yes I’m talking bout Gabriel the movie..Not my secondary school St. Gabriel’s..

I’ve watched it on 11th of January, days before its official premier date at Cineleisure Damansara..

Well, that night, I had my dinner at Bangsar Shang Hai Ten..

After hanging around til 11pm, my friends and I drove all the way to Cineleisure with a hope of buying last minute tickets for midnight movie..

So we reached there about 11.30pm..There were 8 of us..Can’t decide on which movie to watch..

There were American Gangster, Atonement, and my suggestion, Gabriel..

I suggested Gabriel because I’ve watched the trailer on GSC and I thought it’s nice..Might be some underdog movie..

You know, a movie with a stupid name but made it big like Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit-Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, and the likes of it..

Here’s the trailer of Gabriel..


*Gabriel ka-ptuih*

Well we thought the movie was not on screen yet, until I saw it on the movie screening schedule..So we went on and bought 8 tickets for Gabriel..

So now, the spoiler of the movie..Before I move on to the spoiler, let me tell you something honestly..

Don’t worry bout the spoiler, coz the movie sucks..If you want to watch it, it will be a waste of time, waste of money, and waste of energy, physically and mentally..

So now the spoiler..

The plot sucks..The storyline sucks..The characters suck..The effects and choreograph suck..

That’s all..Isn’t it suck?

Okay, that’s generally how the movie is..So now we go in-depth..

The real thing is..The story is all about Gabriel, an Archangel, trying to fight against the Fallen the dark side..

It’s not that Gabriel is so superhero but he was ordered by some God or superior of his to do so..

So it was said that these Fallens are so great and strong that none of the previous 6 or 7 Archangels before Gabriel has managed to win against the Fallen..

With these thoughts of STRONG and NONE of the Archangels have managed to win, so it’s normal if you think that it will be great fights in the movie between the good and the bad..

Then the story went on like around 10-15minutes after the intro, Gabriel killed 1 of the Fallens just like that, with a gun..

Yes that’s right..With a gun..

Then continued to killed few more of them, with guns, rifles, and not much of fightings..

During one of the commotions with a Fallen, they did fight, but the choreograph was so bad, everything looked slow-mo..

Then, the effects and, I don’t know what you call that, is definitely bad as well..

It shows that this film is made from a very tight budget and they minimized those unnecessary scenes by not paying for extras..That’s what I think..

The only woman in the leading casts is not even prettier than a Predator..Or I mean, they look more or less the same..


Then the storyline is supposed that Gabriel find each and everyone of the previous Archangels and join forces to fight the Fallens..

Unfortunately, the one and only (no not me) greatest warrior of all, Mike is nowhere to be found..

Then in the end where Gabriel fought with the greatest one of the Fallens (whom I have forgotten what name already), the bad guy said to Gabriel, “Say my name“, literally..

Yeah, that sounds familiar, “Oh say my name“..”C’mon honey say my name..uh, ah ,oh ,ah, ah“..Familiar right?

I know it sounds nasty, and kinky as well..But what the hell..

I’m so pissed off with the movie that when the Cinema staff opened the exit door, I wanted to leave the place..

Then my girlfriend told, “Already pissed off for so long..Watch til finish lah“..

Then I thought, umm, okay lah..Just left a bit only..

Turned out that Mike is the bad guy and the bad guy is Mike..Mike killed Gabriel or something..

He felt so sorry then he uses his last strength of energy to heal Gabriel..

In the end Gabriel stands and Mike is dead..In turn, Gabriel felt sorry for having Mike killed himself to heal Gabriel, Gabriel committed suicide..

So in the end of everything, all of the Archangels and Fallens died..

Just right after the first line of the credits came out, I shouted, “TIU NIA MCH~!!” so loud that everyone in the hall could hear me..

And I know everyone agreed with me because everyone was laughing to my shoutout..Super duper pissed off with the movie..

The movie is not even deserved a place in the movie screen..It’s all waste of time..I would say it’s waste of your time even if you watch it on TV..

All of us left the hall in tulan state..So the moral of the story..

Don’t watch any movie that you think is nice just based on the trailer..

It’s best to wait for other people to watch it first then only you watch..Don’t be the front-liners..Be a back-up..

If you really want to watch a movie when you are out of movie, I would recommend The Game Plan, starring John “The Rock” Dwayne..

Yeah I know it’s kinda gay to watch The Rock in other movies other than wrestling..

But this movie turns out to be quite good of a family movie..Yes, a family movie..

I’ve watched it, on my PC..Not in the cinema..

So the next time you want to choose a movie to watch, let me give you some supportive statements..

Be a man..Do the right thing..

15 thoughts on “Gabriel Sucks~!!

  1. If you were to watch the movie, don’t judge it by the trailer.

    The trailer always tells lies to people and they only show those really exciting parts.

    Next time, go see the review at Rotten tomatoes. Can’t believe you actually shouted )($@#a0yrf0o in the hall of the cinema.

    P/S: You should watch Atonement. =D

  2. agreed with Michelle. I dont trust movies trailer anymore. So many times, they lied. Suspiciously, movies with awesome trailer, 88% of them sucks. For example, “The Invasion”.

  3. Serious? Dang i wanted to watch also. Yeah, I agree with moses, don’t trust trailers and I’ve learned not to expect much from movies these days. Well, it couldn’t have been as bad as beowulf isn’t it? After watching beowulf, I got stunned at the badness of it…

  4. moses >> LOL..that’s why i seldom watch in cinema dy..

    David >> didnt watch beowulf..heard it was bad coz too much of CGI..

    Freethinker >> LOL why la? u have watched also? :P

    ShadowFox >> it’s a series?

  5. Ok maybe it sucked.But remember it was an independent Australian movie with ONLY 150,000 BUDGET NOT EVEN A CENT MORE.The actors weren’t payed until the movie got published and copies were sold.This is why its so bad.

  6. Its good for 150,000 budget being honest.The only thing i liked is that they worked hard as a group.The behind the scene in youtube is better than the movie :p

  7. Ajvi >> ok..that makes sense..but it could have been better though..the story is hanging around..let alone the budget, acting wise, pretty suck as well.. :P

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>